11 Hour shifts

I am fully aware that by most means, I am still in fact young. Albeit on the older side of young, but still young.

Today my work was lacking coverage and I ended up being scheduled for an 11 hour shift. I dunno if it’s because it’s a different environment or because I’m getting older but man, these are taking it out of me more than usual. Don’t get it twisted though, I don’t pull these every day. Hell, this was the first one in about a month. Every once in a while I don’t mind helping out because the overtime is always welcome, and seeing as I work for a courier company now we’re going to be moving into Black Friday/Christmas time craziness soon enough.

Nobody should be working over 8 hours a day anyway though. It’s hard enough to get by as it is.



3 years onset

Hi there folks!

You may remember me from such blog entries as Winters Thaw! or A Feeling I didn’t expect!

Admittedly, I just completely abandoned this blog. In mid 2017 I traveled to Alberta to stay with a couple I knew from College who were out in Edmonton with my girlfriend at the time. We ended up visiting the Alberta Aviation Museum and one of the more fascinating aspects of this particular jaunt out was not what incredible pieces of technology airplanes are (they are, don’t get me wrong) but it was a pilots journal that had been kept in perfect condition with all of his flight notes in tact. Just the act of hand writing, something that didn’t come from a computer and something that will live on for as long as the purveyors of the museum will allow it to. Kind of a different form of imortalization if you will. So I bought 2 journals and have been using them as an excuse to practice my cursive writing I’d say from….mid 2018 now? They’ve been off and on and just like this WordPress blog, I find it incredibly fun to come back to and read what I’ve posted previously.

It’s strange though, when I look back at my previous entries I feel a weird sense of….pride? Because they read quite well in my opinion anyway. I feel like when I type these out it’s mostly just an awkward babble of words that are coming to my head but like a stew, they tend to get better over time I suppose.

So, just a quick update for everyone. (Is anyone even following me anymore?) Life was up and down since my last entry. Struggling with jobs and money and life. I’m happy to say that during my 3 year hiatus from WordPress that things have significantly improved. I have a job now that I don’t dread going to and actually enjoy working at. A good chunk of my debts have been paid off. As of Sept 1st, 2019 I became engaged to my aforementioned girlfriend! It was a lot of ups and downs and still continues to be, but the last year and a bit have been….interesting to say the least. Not just for me though, I mean look at the entire world I guess. *vague gestures*.

Honestly I’m kind of happy I chose to open this website up again. Typing this out is a different sense of relief that physically writing out thoughts. Both have their merit but this was an activity that was definitely missing. Hopefully I can learn again how this site works and maybe bring in a newer audience to my ramblings?

How has everyone been? Please leave a comment and let me know! I hope you’ve all stayed safe during this Covid malarkey.



Winters Thaw

Recently, my area was hit with a pretty nasty polar vortex. Had about a weeks worth of temperatures in the -20C range with wind chills making it closer to -35C some days. I write this on Monday the 4th, one day after the Superbowl (Patriots won again, boooooo) and in stark contrast to a few years back, it was +9C.


Everything is melting right now and is wet as can be. Which means there will be a good chance of some roads being flooded and closed. I took some photos from February last year of all the accumulation of water, as you can see it was a doozy.


The temperature is supposed to dip again back to -3C so hopefully it doesn’t cause too much of a problem. My city is notorious for poor public transit and over saturated with single occupancy vehicles so it’s a massive mess. The very first snowfall of the year at the end of 2018 saw O.P.P. respond to over 300  crashes/accidents. I think after that little spurt of snow, us Ontario residents have to take a solid ‘L’ for the rest of this winter season and can’t chirp our American brothers down south for any winter they get now.


Zip zop

Well howdy folks! It’s been a while yet again!

You’ll be happy to know I got my OSAP paid off about 4 years ahead of time! So that’s pretty freaking DOPE. Super happy about that. Managed to purchase a set of mid-level Bauer pads as well!

I’ve also been pretty diligent about focusing in on earlier goals. I’ve started doing consistent yoga now for at least 3 weeks, and I’ve felt absolutely amazing. I was super skeptical of the claims of mindfulness and relaxation it could have, but I’m super happy that they are true. I haven’t felt this relaxed in a while now. If this continues, I would LOVE to seek training as a yoga instructor. Perhaps a new goal to look forward to?

Man, what else has been going on….Oh! So I quit my other job. The boss and I were NOT getting along. Decided it would be in both of our interests if I left. Happily residing at one job right now and working that until I (hopefully) get an apprenticeship. I have a line of credit to pay off, but as long as my OSAP is done then I’ll be fine working one job. Admittedly, it kinda sucks not having that second paycheck (especially around Christmas!) but all good things come with time. I just need to be diligent with my money, set up a plan and stick with it.

I’m glad I could switch up the tone for this entry to a more positive one. I know my posts have been a little…sad in the past but it’s all part of life and moving forward. Even if only a few people read my posts, It’s still therapeutic in a sense to get these hidden thoughts and feelings out in public. Lets keep this positive train rolling though!




Hello all!

It’s been a while. Just been living my usual busy life. Ended up picking up a second job recently so I’m now working 7 days a week! woo!

I know that isn’t exactly the most exciting news, but hey. It is what it is. I’m doing this right now to get by a little better and to also pay off my debts faster. I figured I could really grind away at it for a few months and make life a whole lot better for myself down the road. So far it isn’t going so bad either. I’ve managed to save up for a new set of goalie pads, (which side note: this makes me so incredibly happy. I’ve been wanting new pads that fit for well over 4 years now) saved up roughly enough to pay off 1/3rd of my student loans that are remaining. And if I stay on this course I’ll be heading in the right direction to be debt free by the end of the year.

I think this is a super positive direction that I am heading in, yet I still feel like I am stalled in life. I want to accomplish so much more, but I still feel like because I took a second job back at a coffee shop, that I am somehow not progressing myself. It’s silly but I know I am being impatient. It’s just that in the last few years I’ve really started to appreciate the value of knowledge, both in a practical and non-practical way. I’m just eager to learn and develop new skills. I don’t want to be stalled at the same jobs that I’ve held previously just to keep me afloat. I want to be better than I was yesterday. And every day after that. I need an action plan and I need to put that plan in place and follow it.

So i’m writing this to myself in hopes that having it out in public will help keep me on track. And I can come back and write a list or post of how I have achieved my goals.



Get in the game

You know what the problem was with my previous post was? I wasn’t playing with anyone. A lot of saturated communities can be pretty toxic if you are alone. Especially with a new game while you learn how to play.

I’ve found playing with friends really helps to ease that anxiety and allow you to immerse yourself into it way more. Fun levels seem to increase EXPONENTIALLY. You shouldn’t have to compromise the fun you have.

I have a few followers on here. Do any of you play any games on PC? I’d love to play anything (minus League of Legends) with most anyone. Shoot me a message or leave a comment if you do!




You gotta go. I insist.

This weekend I took a small weekend trip up to Toronto to go see Børns (I’ve posted about him here many moons ago) and did it by myself. I had to insist that I go and it would be good for me to go alone. This was one of the most fun weekends I’ve had in a long time. Just the way everything worked out was all so lucky.

Just coming home though after a weekend of feeling such highs is hard. You experience the highest highs and some pretty low lows. But I wouldn’t trade this feeling right now. It’s all part of the experience.

Don’t regret action you take, and always focus on the positives.



via Daily Prompt: Insist


Forgiveness. For them and yourself.

Hey all!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately as per usual and wanted to write this entry. Not many people tend to see my non Daily post challenges, but hopefully if you are reading this then maybe you can do some reflection.

I’ve touched a bit on this subject before. Bullying and being a victim of it. But I failed to realize that I too have bullied people and have made people feel like crap. Realizing it was a somber feeling that took me back a bit to say the least. But hey, it’s clear as day in my head.

Human’s are not perfect. We have all erred at some point in our lives. Sometimes people have the sense of mind to look back at their actions and truly reflect on what they’ve done and how they’ve impacted people. Others seem to just live in blissful ignorance. I was bullied by a select few who made my life very uncomfortable in public school and High School, making me nervous and afraid to be myself. And that feeling manifested in me succumbing to THEIR thoughts and views on people which I carried out sometimes. Possibly in a way to hopefully impress them so they would leave me alone. I realize now how wrong that was. I was never physical with anyone however. I was too wiry and skinny to hold my own in a fight. But I would turn people away, genuine good people who wanted to be my friend because of the views that these select people had of them. I constantly find myself thinking and observing my past doings. Wondering what, if any wrongs I have caused. I shouldn’t hold so much against myself, and I certainly am trying not to because I was much, much younger when this was all happening. Nowadays, I really try and be the best person I can be. I’m not out to start shit with anyone. I don’t want people to feel like crap. I’ve felt like crap for the past I-don’t-even-know how many years now. I would NEVER wish those feelings on anyone. I just want to spread a message of positivity, happiness and being true to yourself.

I wish I didn’t let social pressures as a kid growing up in a small town dictate my actions around certain people who wanted to be my friend. I wish I could take back all of the things I said or did to make people upset. I know those people who may have been on the receiving end of my bullshit have grown up into some pretty great people. Whether or not they view the events of the past like I do, I hope that I get a chance to apologize to them.

But herein lies the dichotomy of this situation, if I ever saw those who made my life hell during my formative years, I genuinely don’t believe that I could forgive them. And to be honest, I don’t think I ever will. It’s not because I don’t want to. I’ve read that forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for yourself. I want to let go of the animosity and the bad feelings, but I feel like it’s a defense mechanism that has been ingrained in my brain at this point. Just the thought of those people stirs up such bad memories that I need to stop what I’m doing and clear my head or do something to take my mind off of the thoughts.

I hope that I never caused anyone as much trouble as I mentioned above. I have forgiven people in the past who have wronged me, as I will continue to do in the future. And just try to be the best version of myself that I can.



Egg Recipes

Two questions:

  1. What is your favorite egg recipe?
  2. What is your favorite way to cook eggs?

There are so many great ways to cook such a simplistic food. Often we over complicate something so simple. Here is a favorite recipe of mine, as demonstrated by none other than Gordon Ramsay.


I have tried this one myself, and can honestly say it is my FAVORITE way of making scrambled eggs. If you get a chance, definitely try it yourself!

So lets see how you like your eggs!

via Daily Prompt: Egg


How do you overcome yourself?

My last entry I said “Back to the training!”

Yeah. I haven’t done that. Like at all. Which sucks because I can feel the physical effects of NOT working out. Low energy, poor quality of sleep, overall just feeling like a piece of poo. And it’s feeling next to impossible to get back on track.

Part of it is admittedly my fault. Not being active enough to chase after my goals. This current work schedule however, makes it next to impossible. 12-9pm is probably one of the worst schedules I’ve worked. I rarely ever leave before 9:30pm, the job is mentally stressful which often occupies my mind when I come home. And if I don’t unwind then I dream about being at work. I think everyone has dreamed about being at work at least once, and it leaves you absolutely mentally exhausted the next day. You’re stressed before you even have the chance to become stressed again. So staying up later means waking up later, which just means less time for myself in the “morning” when I eventually do drag my carcass out of the bed sheets. My quality of sleep is fucking piss poor, feels like I don’t even hit REM cycles. I’m 100% certain I am not meeting my caloric intake goals as well (one instance where being stupidly tall/lanky has its drawbacks).

All of the above just puts up such a mental barrier.

Yeah yeah, excuses excuses Bryan.

It sucks when I watch people on YouTube who I look up to and want to emulate in terms of success and goals doing just that. Achieving what they set out to do. I have to start setting aside my distractions and start planning better. And I’m hoping by making this a touch more public maybe some of you can keep me more accountable.

Sorry for rambling and ranting, but I needed to get this off my chest.