Hello all!

It’s been a while. Just been living my usual busy life. Ended up picking up a second job recently so I’m now working 7 days a week! woo!

I know that isn’t exactly the most exciting news, but hey. It is what it is. I’m doing this right now to get by a little better and to also pay off my debts faster. I figured I could really grind away at it for a few months and make life a whole lot better for myself down the road. So far it isn’t going so bad either. I’ve managed to save up for a new set of goalie pads, (which side note: this makes me so incredibly happy. I’ve been wanting new pads that fit for well over 4 years now) saved up roughly enough to pay off 1/3rd of my student loans that are remaining. And if I stay on this course I’ll be heading in the right direction to be debt free by the end of the year.

I think this is a super positive direction that I am heading in, yet I still feel like I am stalled in life. I want to accomplish so much more, but I still feel like because I took a second job back at a coffee shop, that I am somehow not progressing myself. It’s silly but I know I am being impatient. It’s just that in the last few years I’ve really started to appreciate the value of knowledge, both in a practical and non-practical way. I’m just eager to learn and develop new skills. I don’t want to be stalled at the same jobs that I’ve held previously just to keep me afloat. I want to be better than I was yesterday. And every day after that. I need an action plan and I need to put that plan in place and follow it.

So i’m writing this to myself in hopes that having it out in public will help keep me on track. And I can come back and write a list or post of how I have achieved my goals.



Get in the game

You know what the problem was with my previous post was? I wasn’t playing with anyone. A lot of saturated communities can be pretty toxic if you are alone. Especially with a new game while you learn how to play.

I’ve found playing with friends really helps to ease that anxiety and allow you to immerse yourself into it way more. Fun levels seem to increase EXPONENTIALLY. You shouldn’t have to compromise the fun you have.

I have a few followers on here. Do any of you play any games on PC? I’d love to play anything (minus League of Legends) with most anyone. Shoot me a message or leave a comment if you do!




You gotta go. I insist.

This weekend I took a small weekend trip up to Toronto to go see Børns (I’ve posted about him here many moons ago) and did it by myself. I had to insist that I go and it would be good for me to go alone. This was one of the most fun weekends I’ve had in a long time. Just the way everything worked out was all so lucky.

Just coming home though after a weekend of feeling such highs is hard. You experience the highest highs and some pretty low lows. But I wouldn’t trade this feeling right now. It’s all part of the experience.

Don’t regret action you take, and always focus on the positives.



via Daily Prompt: Insist


Forgiveness. For them and yourself.

Hey all!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately as per usual and wanted to write this entry. Not many people tend to see my non Daily post challenges, but hopefully if you are reading this then maybe you can do some reflection.

I’ve touched a bit on this subject before. Bullying and being a victim of it. But I failed to realize that I too have bullied people and have made people feel like crap. Realizing it was a somber feeling that took me back a bit to say the least. But hey, it’s clear as day in my head.

Human’s are not perfect. We have all erred at some point in our lives. Sometimes people have the sense of mind to look back at their actions and truly reflect on what they’ve done and how they’ve impacted people. Others seem to just live in blissful ignorance. I was bullied by a select few who made my life very uncomfortable in public school and High School, making me nervous and afraid to be myself. And that feeling manifested in me succumbing to THEIR thoughts and views on people which I carried out sometimes. Possibly in a way to hopefully impress them so they would leave me alone. I realize now how wrong that was. I was never physical with anyone however. I was too wiry and skinny to hold my own in a fight. But I would turn people away, genuine good people who wanted to be my friend because of the views that these select people had of them. I constantly find myself thinking and observing my past doings. Wondering what, if any wrongs I have caused. I shouldn’t hold so much against myself, and I certainly am trying not to because I was much, much younger when this was all happening. Nowadays, I really try and be the best person I can be. I’m not out to start shit with anyone. I don’t want people to feel like crap. I’ve felt like crap for the past I-don’t-even-know how many years now. I would NEVER wish those feelings on anyone. I just want to spread a message of positivity, happiness and being true to yourself.

I wish I didn’t let social pressures as a kid growing up in a small town dictate my actions around certain people who wanted to be my friend. I wish I could take back all of the things I said or did to make people upset. I know those people who may have been on the receiving end of my bullshit have grown up into some pretty great people. Whether or not they view the events of the past like I do, I hope that I get a chance to apologize to them.

But herein lies the dichotomy of this situation, if I ever saw those who made my life hell during my formative years, I genuinely don’t believe that I could forgive them. And to be honest, I don’t think I ever will. It’s not because I don’t want to. I’ve read that forgiveness isn’t for the other person, it’s for yourself. I want to let go of the animosity and the bad feelings, but I feel like it’s a defense mechanism that has been ingrained in my brain at this point. Just the thought of those people stirs up such bad memories that I need to stop what I’m doing and clear my head or do something to take my mind off of the thoughts.

I hope that I never caused anyone as much trouble as I mentioned above. I have forgiven people in the past who have wronged me, as I will continue to do in the future. And just try to be the best version of myself that I can.



Egg Recipes

Two questions:

  1. What is your favorite egg recipe?
  2. What is your favorite way to cook eggs?

There are so many great ways to cook such a simplistic food. Often we over complicate something so simple. Here is a favorite recipe of mine, as demonstrated by none other than Gordon Ramsay.


I have tried this one myself, and can honestly say it is my FAVORITE way of making scrambled eggs. If you get a chance, definitely try it yourself!

So lets see how you like your eggs!

via Daily Prompt: Egg


How do you overcome yourself?

My last entry I said “Back to the training!”

Yeah. I haven’t done that. Like at all. Which sucks because I can feel the physical effects of NOT working out. Low energy, poor quality of sleep, overall just feeling like a piece of poo. And it’s feeling next to impossible to get back on track.

Part of it is admittedly my fault. Not being active enough to chase after my goals. This current work schedule however, makes it next to impossible. 12-9pm is probably one of the worst schedules I’ve worked. I rarely ever leave before 9:30pm, the job is mentally stressful which often occupies my mind when I come home. And if I don’t unwind then I dream about being at work. I think everyone has dreamed about being at work at least once, and it leaves you absolutely mentally exhausted the next day. You’re stressed before you even have the chance to become stressed again. So staying up later means waking up later, which just means less time for myself in the “morning” when I eventually do drag my carcass out of the bed sheets. My quality of sleep is fucking piss poor, feels like I don’t even hit REM cycles. I’m 100% certain I am not meeting my caloric intake goals as well (one instance where being stupidly tall/lanky has its drawbacks).

All of the above just puts up such a mental barrier.

Yeah yeah, excuses excuses Bryan.

It sucks when I watch people on YouTube who I look up to and want to emulate in terms of success and goals doing just that. Achieving what they set out to do. I have to start setting aside my distractions and start planning better. And I’m hoping by making this a touch more public maybe some of you can keep me more accountable.

Sorry for rambling and ranting, but I needed to get this off my chest.


Noise Pollution

Everyone knows to escape the city to get the best view of the night sky. All that light pollution is nice in its own sense, namely when you’re walking the street and taking in some great city scenery, but you can’t see the stars in the city.

So how do you go about getting rid of all the noise?

It’s hard to cancel out all the noise. Seems like nowadays, we’re constantly being bombarded with noise but also looking for something to occupy our mind. Hell, as I am writing this right now I have the Spartan Ops story cut-scenes playing on YouTube. The constant cacophony of our lives can be overwhelming.

Yesterday (Sunday) I left my grandmothers house after a long day of sewing my Halloween costume with her sewing wisdom and spending time together. She lives out in a small town with very little light pollution. So when I got to my car, I paused for 5 minutes and just stared up into the sky. It was refreshing to just hear nothing.

I think some meditation is necessary in the near future. I need to work on calming my mind.