via Daily Prompt: Faded

Through most of high school, I suffered from a condition that I don’t know exactly how to put into words. Basically, I slacked off way more than I should have and expected to coast my way through life. I’m not sure at what point my childhood motivation faded into what it became, but it certainly isn’t something I’m proud of.

In years recent, I’ve come to appreciate the struggle known as life a heck of a lot more. There’s a certain pride in doing things yourself. Earning everything you have, working your butt off at times where it seems pointless and anguishing. Now admittedly I have a good network of friends and family to help support me, and I am truly, TRULY beyond grateful for them. Once things start to progress I hope I could pay them all back tenfold for not only putting up with jaded/obnoxious me, but for supporting me and pushing me to be better and helping me grow into the independent person I am today.

The paragraph above really makes me sound like a spoiled kid from a rich family, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. My parents both worked jobs they hated to pay the bills. I was lucky that hockey equipment wasn’t as ridiculously expensive as it is today otherwise I may not have played the game I love as a kid. But still, my attitude and outlook was certainly that of a spoiled rich kid. I hate thinking back to that time because I see kids who act like that today and think to myself “Man, I cannot believe that I used to act similar to that”. It’s incredibly embarrassing, but I also have the sense to realize that I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. That’s a time where we are coming into our own as unique and individual people. I want to believe in the goodness of people, and think that any loving parent really just wants their kids to not have to worry about what a cruel place this world can be and just focus on being a kid and enjoying life worry free while they still can.

I got a little sidetracked there…

Better late than never is probably one of the best motto’s to live by. It’s so encouraging. There’s so many things/people who will tell you that you can’t do things because of your age. Never listen to them. If you’re getting up there in age, you should absolutely pursue the things you love and then some! Go out and try new things! You never know what you’ll fall in love with once you try it! and if not you have a good story to tell!

I’m glad I’ve got my motivation back to better myself. Every day I’m doing something hopefully that betters either myself or the people close around me. Don’t let yourself become faded to the beauty and intrigue of the world around you! There’s always something new to discover or create!


Looking at signs?

Ever have a good day that’s just completely un-explainable?

I don’t really get too many of those if I’m honest. Usually when I do have good days I feel like I’ve earned them in some way. Not that I expect to be rewarded for kindness by the universe per-se but I do want to believe in Karma.

Well, today was actually a really good day! Work went by pretty quick, the time before was nice and slow, had a good song stuck in my head and an idea as to what I want to do with my life too! Now maybe I’m over-analyzing the last part but maybe this is the universes way of telling me I’m on the right path? I certainly hope so. It would be fantastic to actually gain some kind of peace of mind with where my future is heading. Not knowing and feeling like you’re in limbo sucks!

I hope to the maybe 4 people who would see this that you have a fantastic day!